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01/31/2008
Intolerable
Thursday, January 31, 2008: I have no idea how or when. That's what worries me. But deep down I know that this intolerable situation cannot continue. It's causing me too much stress. The energy I spend and/or waste trying to put up with it is endless.
Something for me. Something just for me. Not just anything, either, but something special, ultra special. Where? How? When? Don't know. Just got to have it!
02:11 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
01/25/2008
Open Credit Card Letter
Dear Credit Card Companies,
You want to sue me. At least, you are threatening to sue me. You are sending letters written by law office employees. Whether those debts are actually mine or not, the answer is still this: I have no money.And if I owe you the money, I want to know what it is that I charged with my cards. For the past few years, I have been busy struggling with mortgage fraud and foreclosure. They have taken up all of my time. I have had no rest, no peace because of them.
You have no idea what it's like to go from an excellent credit score to having to read your letters. It is unbelievable to me that this is my situation now. Your letters are all too real.
I have gone over them several times and I try to understand my options. It seems that I have none.Nothing protects me, no law, no person, no defense. Not having a job at the moment is not good enough. And no, I cannot borrow the cash. There is no one who will do that for me.
22:07 Posted in Consequences of Foreclosure | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
Don't Need Another Lawsuit
Friday, January 25, 2008: Yesterday I got 2 more letters from credit card company lawyers threatening to sue me. I do not need this. I do not have the money to pay them, even if the credit charges are mine. After I lost my GA condo, I thought nothing worse could happen to me, but I see how wrong I was.
Being a victim of mortgage fraud was not bad enough. Now I have this to struggle with.
My feelings do not count. It is very surreal. My life has changed since I was unfortunate enough to go to GA.It's like I'm in the middle of my own horrible nightmare.
20:18 Posted in Consequences of Foreclosure | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
01/22/2008
High Hopes
I so remember the high hopes I had when I first went to NYC almost 12 years ago! I can feel again the excitement, the happiness of finally being in that great big city, the mother of all cities. There was so much to look forward to then! The summer of 1996 was a magical time for me. Walking up and down Manhattan, having breakfast at the Stanhope Hotel, right across from the Metropolitan Museum and Central Park--all that meant so much. I thought I belonged. And I am so thankful that I was able to be there and pretend that I would one day have NYC at my feet. The reason I had gone was Different Flags. I had written that novel from my heart because it was part of me, the best I had to offer. I wanted the whole world to read it and the only place to help me achieve that goal was The Big Apple. But after knocking on all sorts of doors, I realized that I would not get a big time publisher like Simon and Schuster or Harper and Collins. The literary agents I queried said I had talent, but the novel didn't have this, didn't have that. What they probably meant was no sex. A story about a young woman falling in love with a priest in South America had to have spice. Different Flags didn't--not enough, anyway. Ani and Luis never slept together. How naive and unwordly can you get? Sex, as everyone knows, sells.
Then why did I write the book? The story was burning inside of me. It had to come out. Yes, sex was a big element, but it was not the only one. There were others that sometimes overshadowed it. DF was an emotional tale, an obsession that had to have a house of its own.
It is very hard to be a Spanish teacher, an English teacher and/or a translator when what you really want to do is sell your writing. You wear a brave little smile and you say: No matter. I like to do this. I enjoy teaching. Besides, I have faith. My ship will come.
Now I am frustrated. When will I get my big break? I don't want it to be when I'm dead. No use. Because I won't be around to enjoy anything.
03:49 Posted in Books | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
01/20/2008
Life In Norfolk
Sunday, January 20, 2008: There isn't much to say about my new life here. The weather is cold and I prefer it hot. The future, as always, is very shadowy and blurry. I have no idea till when that will be, and that is very unnerving. There is a feeling inside me that says I'm sick of these indefinite, undefined things. I want something I can hold on to, something I can grab and do something with. Yes. I have made mistakes, but who hasn't? The problem is resolving them. If and how. Those are the biggies, the questions that need answering.
20:38 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (2) | Email this
01/13/2008
The Heavy Suitcase
Sunday, January 13, 2008: Last year, while still in Argentina, I wrote about a suitcase with about $800,000 that someone had tried to smuggle via Caracas, Venezuela. Now it looks like this story could very well be turned into a spy movie. Antonini Wilson, the Venezuelan businessman who carried the suitcase, is also an American citizen. And somebody could have tried to bribe him to say it was not really his and they could have threatened his family. Just before I left Argentina a couple of weeks ago, the new president of Argentina said that the suitcase issue is part of a garbage campaign against her. It is rumored that the money was supposed to help Cristina Fernandez de Kirchner get elected.
01:48 Posted in Crimes | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
01/11/2008
GA Condo
January 11, 2008: 68 Fahrenheit. Rained this afternoon in Norfolk, VA. No wonder I feel bad. The GA condo fiasco is not over yet. It may have more financial repercussions. As if I need that on top of everything else that's happened already. And to pretend that everything is fine, that there will be a way out, a solution that will not make me cry and wince or have me wish I were dead. Playing a part I don't feel like playing--for the sake of others, for my own sake. That is no good, either because the pressure, the tension is tremendous. It is tearing me apart.
01:55 Posted in Consequences of Foreclosure | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
01/10/2008
Dulce de Leche
January 10, 2008: It is sweet, but not overwhelmingly so. It is dark brown and similar to caramel. But it is not caramel because it doesn't really taste like caramel. Some people spread it on a slice of French bread, others take a spoon and eat it out of a jar. It is also used as a topping for creme brulee, better known as flan.
02:30 Posted in Argentine Food | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
01/09/2008
The Day
January 9, 2008: January 9, 2007: Buenos Aires, Argentina, Tuesday morning just before 7. I called someone to come and get you, Rubio. You were very ill and would not be getting better. I was told by your vet that it was inhuman of me to prolong your life. When they came, I asked them to wrap you in a yellow bed sheet. I didn't want the building super to see you like that, ill, too ill to walk. I will never forgive him for being so mean to you.
Since I could not go with them in the same car, I called a cab and followed you to your final destination. The Vicente Lopez dog pound people placed you gently on the floor. I looked at you and could not believe what was happening. Kneeling down, I asked you to forgive me. When the guy came with the needle, I almost told him not to, that I had changed my mind. But you would never be the same Rubio I had loved for almost 8 years. He stuck the needle in your left front paw. Nothing. Then he called the director of the pound and she tried a little harder. I cried inside. You were like a great big lion, a brave lion whose life was no more. I caressed you and said goodbye. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to leave you. They wrapped you with the rest of the sheet and a guard stood by the door. I went back to the apt.
19:55 Posted in Rubio | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
Response from the GA Attorney General
January 9, 2008; I got a letter today from the GA Attorney general's office. Apparently they did not receive the first letter I sent them from Argentina over a year ago. They will be forwarding my concerns to the GA Dept. of Banking and Finance. I already filed a complaint with them, but it does not hurt if they look at my case again. Not good enough, though.
Now I will resend my letter to the F.B.I., as well. Losing my condo in Atlanta was the most devastating and heartbreaking event in the last few years and it could not have happened without the help of the loan officer and the realtor. They were professionals and knew what they were doing.
19:39 Posted in white collar crimes | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
My Day In Court
January 9, 2008: I showed up at the Federal Building in Norfolk, VA, just after 8:30 A.M for the 9 A.M. hearing. It was my first time. I have never been sued before. The lawyer for Bank of America was about an hour late. She was not really prepared because when I asked her for an itemized list of what I was supposed to have bought with my card, she didn't have anything. I asked for a continuance. The judge granted it and I was given a sheet of paper for me to fill out. It's my defense against this debt claim. Will the fact that I have no money to pay, if it is true, be good enough? I doubt it. But I am not lying.
Anyway, I am glad I will be mailed the list by the plaintiff's attorney. Only fair.
19:25 Posted in Blog | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
01/08/2008
Rubio, The Day Before
A year ago today: it was Monday, January 8th, 2007 and I was in Argentina. At around 4 P.M., after Susana, the dog walker, came to see Rubio, she advised me to let him go. I would not be doing him any favor by keeping him alive. So, I forced myself to go give Matias another English class (just to have someone to talk to and seek comfort in) and when I came back to Vte. Lopez, I bought Rubio a steak and a yogurt for his last meal. I will never forget the Coto employee who weighed the vegetables for me. I will never forget how I felt when I gave him his food and he gobbled it up. Rubio’s appetite had returned, but he would never walk again. Susana had tears in her eyes when she saw Rubio’s sores. They were so deep and they were digging into his bones. I am so sorry that he’s dead, but he couldn’t live like that. I am so sorry that the building super was so mean to him, to us, when Rubio was very ill and did his business whenever and wherever. I cleaned up after him, but that didn’t help much. They were still horrible and made things worse for him, for us.
16:23 Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
01/06/2008
Rubio
Sunday, January 6, 2008: No, Rubio, I cannot forget that a year ago today you were still with me. I tried to make you as comfortable as possible. I did not want you to go. But you were very ill and I could not bear to see my strong German shepherd turned into an invalid.
23:12 Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this
My Dogs
Sunday, January 6, 2008: What are the Tigre dogs doing this afternoon? How many more have been dumped since the last time I went to see them, a little over a month ago? I cannot believe it. I want to help all of them and I can't. No, I am not indispensible, but I know from experience that very few people care about them, about the vulnerable and helpless.
23:04 Posted in Homeless Street Dogs | Permalink | Comments (2) | Email this
01/03/2008
January 9th
Thursday, January 3, 2008: I can't stop thinking about next Wednesday, January 9th. That is the first anniversary of my dog Rubio's death.I remember sitting up with him most of that night and early morning. I had to have him put down and I didn't want to do it because his situation was getting worse and worse. My German shepherd had stopped walking on December 28th. He didn't want to go yet, but when the vet tried everything and nothing worked, I had to make the awful decision to let him out of his misery.I will never forget the way he looked spread out on the yellow bed sheet as they gave him the needle. A giant struck down by lightning.
This year I will be worrying about something else that day. January 9th is the date of my civil case. I am being sued in Norfolk, VA over a $1,200 old credit card debt. What will I tell the judge except the truth? I can't pay. Not because I don't want to, but because I just can't.
20:30 Posted in Rubio | Permalink | Comments (0) | Email this