My Life in Argentina and Beyond

Why is it so difficult to understand that yes, the Church does in all probability know that President Lugo has fathered several children with several women? I wish our knowing this could change the Priestly Celibacy ruling, which is and has always been on the hypocritical side. Things will not change until somebody in power (The Pope, for instance) has the need to do something about it. Eugenia Renskoff

I feel that the Church has put too much emphasis on the sacredness of the religious calling. The Church has to do that in order to get men to become priests. But in my experience (and I can safely say that I am an expert in this) priests are human beings. They fall in love (some of them) and are tempted. Some leave the Church for the women they love, some don't. Those who choose not to leave are in some cases haunted by that decision for the rest of their lives. And the women they have left behind are haunted as well. Eugenia Renskoff

Monday, April 20, 2009: I have started rewatching the Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers films from the 1930s. My favorites are The Gay Divorcee, Top Hat and Shall We Dance. The dancing is, of course, always outstanding, but I am also drawn to the onscreen relationship between Ginger and Fred. It was free and easy, not complicated at all. The sets are out of this world because of their Art Deco elegance. At this so problematic part of my life, the Fred Astaire/Ginger Rogers movies help me cope with what may lie ahead for me. The films help me escape (much like it must have helped people during the Depression) into a world where money is not a great big issue and being alone just doesn't exist.

It gets so complicated! It gets to be so difficult. Just when I need a solution, it seems that the solution is way out of my reach. And I am worried about my falls. I can pretend and lie to myself for a while, but the falls—they tell the truth.

, April 8, 2009: In a way I am glad to learn that Leo, my ex dog is happy and completely socialized. He has a large human family and plays with the new owner's kids and nephews and nieces. But I am also sad because Leo will be another dog that I will always miss. I think about him often.He was very affectionate and protected me, but I had to give him up. Leo just didn't want to take his walks. Maybe I wasn't the right person for him--me, a single woman and very likely to remain so. One thing I have promised to myself is this: I will not give up another dog, ever. After Rubio, Leo and Chiquito, that is the last thing I would now to do. I don't think I'd want to go through that experience again.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009: My experience when I loved my Forbidden priest in Argentina reminded me of Peyton Place, the famous 1950s novel and movie. There was lots of gossip going on and lots of secrets. My secret( I often feel that my love was one of these) was an open secret. Nobody dared say anything, but I am almost positive they all knew about it. I loved him and I loved the small town I lived in, but, yes, it was full of underground tension and not-to-be-mentioned things.

know full well about the complications of a man and a woman falling in love if the man is a priest. Please google my novel Different Flags. It is the story of my Forbidden Love. What I care about is people. The rest, all about rules and regulations is not important. Once you have fallen in love, it is too late to think about such things. Besides, if the Pope or whoever wanted to, they could allow optional Celibacy. Not every priest is going to find a woman who will love him.