My Life in Argentina and Beyond

Friday, November 13, 2009: Today I am remembering a lost love. He was a priest and I was head over heels in love with him. Frankly, I cared nothing about religion, but because we lived in a Peyton Place type neighborhood, I pretended to. I cared deeply about him and I lost him. I will never recover that love and/or that magical feeling. That only came once in my life and it is gone forever. I hope that one day soon, when a woman falls in love with a priest, she can marry him. And I also hope that she won't have to hide her love and pretend to love someone else--someone who does not exist.Eugenia Renskoff

Sex started when the world began. Priests, we must remember, are men. Just men. Eugenia Renskoff

The priest remains celibate (to the world, at least) while he has someone on the side and she is left holding the bag. It did not happen to me, but I have met women who have lived this situation. It is worse than living a lie because it goes on and on. Eugenia Renskoff

If there is one thing that Argentina has it is good looking priests. I have seen that a lot and in my novel Different Flags, Padre Luis, is very attractive. That said, I also know about nuns (and other women) drooling. I have seen it often. I mean Optional Celibacy for both men and women. As someone I loved once said: Women are human beings too. She was referring to nuns. She knew some who left to get married and raise a family. Because of my own Forbidden Love, I would love to see optional Celibacy in the Church in my lifetime. It will in no way benefit me personally, but it would bring me relief and peace of mind. And the women in love with priests (I mean truly in love and not just lust, all that) will be relieved too.

Different Flags not an autobiography. It got mostly (8 out of 10, let's say), good reviews. The reviewers liked it, most people who read it liked it. They have written to me and told me so in plain English. If I had wanted to write an autobiography I would have done so, but my life has had many very interesting experiences and it would have been longer than Gone With the Wind. Besides, I am not dead yet nor am I 80 or 90.Eugenia Renskoff

Sex is not love but sex and love (between a man and a woman, for instance) often go together. When you are in love, you want to touch and feel the person you love. You usually do not want to admire one another from afar. Eugenia Renskoff

 If she loves the priest, she doesn't love the man. It is a package deal. She loves the man, a man who happens to be a priest. I am sure that is who Padre Alberto's friend fell in love with. If he is joining the Episcopal Church, it must be because he wants both her and religion, in one way or another. Eugenia Renskoff

No one is forced to be ordained, but how many young men believe in celibacy before they become priests? Many. Many cultures, like the Latino, Italian and Irish cultures want a son to be a priest. Many are pushed into it. Trust me. I know. You are not forced, but you have stars oin your eyes and maybe you think, if I become a priest, I can change the world or I can help people, whatever. Then, sometimes, they run into a woman or situation that tests their celibacy. We are all human. I am sure you are too. Eugenia Renskoff

 We do not have optional celibacy. You have to make a vow of celibacy before you are ordained. The vow can be broken if a man/priest falls in love. There is no sin when that happens. Feelings are feelings and repression is harmful. Very harmful. Isn't the Church all for Love? And shouldn't that love be human (as in man/woman) and not just spiritual, serving the parishioners kind of love? Both loves are very noble and should be part of a priest's life if he so chooses. Eugenia Renskoff

I feel that the Church has put too much emphasis on the sacredness of the religious calling. The Church has to do that in order to get men to become priests. But in my experience (and I can safely say that I am an expert in this) priests are human beings. They fall in love (some of them) and are tempted. Some leave the Church for the women they love, some don't. Those who choose not to leave are in some cases haunted by that decision for the rest of their lives. And the women they have left behind are haunted as well. Eugenia Renskoff