06/26/2008
Rubio
Thursday, June 26, 2008: There was no more protective dog than Rubio. No other animal had his fierce loyalty, his courage. He didn't think about himself when it came to protecting me. I was Number One with him.
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04/25/2008
Like Rubio
Friday, April 25, 2008: For me it feels like it must have felt for Rubio when he was living with his surrogate family in Argentina. They could not wait for him to go. The look on the surrogate family members' faces when I told them I would be taking him back was one of joy and happiness. He was a good dog, a German sheperd willing to give up his life for his owner/person, yet that meant nothing to them. Now I find myself in a situation similar to his.
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03/23/2008
Rubio and the Rain
Saturday, March 22, 2008: Rubio would drag me out to get his palitos, also known as doggie sugar sticks, even when it was raining. And raining hard. Once, he got me out of the house when the water kept coming and coming down. We walked fast to the vet's pet shop, and got there just as it began to hail. We were hit by big pieces of ice, but Rubio didn't care. All he was interested in was his palito. The vet opened the door and gave him two palitos. When she saw how thouroughly wet I was, she gave me two more.
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02/21/2008
Rubio's Last Months
Rubio. Last night I remembered us, and the excruciating physical, emotional and psychological pain of going on the elevator with him so that I could take him for one of his forced walks. Rubio was very ill and going out was a torture for him. All he wanted was the refuge of his apt. The neighbors didn’t cooperate. It was hard getting him out the door, pulling on him hard. And then we had to wait for the elevator—it had to be an empty one because they did not want us riding down with them. Some of the neighbors were polite about it, but most of them were just plain rude. Another highlight of those last few years with Rubio was the portero. The guy was a skunk. He would yell at me, insult me when Rubio, who was suffering from incontinence, would do it wherever he could. I cleaned up after him, but it still wouldn’t do any good. He took it upon himself to be cruel to us. Another jewel in the building was the young night watchman. He would stare, and stare hard, when Rubio pushed and pushed his shit out. The poor dog sometimes yelled out in pain and people would turn around to look. I took him to vet after vet; none seemed to help.
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02/05/2008
Rubio--Last days
Rubio was 12 years old when he died. He was a German shepherd mix, and began to suffer from constipation problems back in January 2001, when he was 6 years old. The vets and I tried everything: mixing liquid Vaseline into his food, putting him on a vegetable diet, giving him laxatives. He had 2 operations, but neither one corrected the problem. He suffered when he had to do his doggie business and ceased enjoying his walks. On several occasions, he had to be taken to the pet hospital emergency room so that they could empty him out. On December 28, 2006, I took him for his first morning walk, but he got as far as the sidewalk. He pulled me back inside our building. That morning, Rubio refused to eat his breakfast and he did not get up from his usual place until around 2 in the afternoon. He went to drink a little bit of water and never got up again. The vet gave him an injection. It did not help. He got sores on his hips, the sores got bigger and bigger. The vet said to cure them with sugar. That did no good, either. His appetite came back after New Year’s 2007. He had stopped barking whenever a stranger walked by our door, and now his bark came back. It was feeble, but it was his. But he would never walk again. The vet recommended I have him put him down.
It was a very difficult decision for me to make. Rubio died on January 9, 2007.
I feel that I failed him. He was a great dog and my best friend. I thought of using a doggie cart, but our neighbors were not the nicest people and using the building elevator would have been a problem.
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02/03/2008
Remembering our Walks
Sunday, February 3, 2008: I look at the pictures of Rubio and me taken over 6 years ago and I wonder. We were very happy. He was very happy when we took those long walks down to the river. Rubio's doggie face was smiling, and he looked at the other dogs as we went from block to block. Just before we got to the river, there was time to enjoy the park. We'd sit on the grass and pretend part of it belonged to us.
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01/09/2008
The Day
January 9, 2008: January 9, 2007: Buenos Aires, Argentina, Tuesday morning just before 7. I called someone to come and get you, Rubio. You were very ill and would not be getting better. I was told by your vet that it was inhuman of me to prolong your life. When they came, I asked them to wrap you in a yellow bed sheet. I didn't want the building super to see you like that, ill, too ill to walk. I will never forgive him for being so mean to you.
Since I could not go with them in the same car, I called a cab and followed you to your final destination. The Vicente Lopez dog pound people placed you gently on the floor. I looked at you and could not believe what was happening. Kneeling down, I asked you to forgive me. When the guy came with the needle, I almost told him not to, that I had changed my mind. But you would never be the same Rubio I had loved for almost 8 years. He stuck the needle in your left front paw. Nothing. Then he called the director of the pound and she tried a little harder. I cried inside. You were like a great big lion, a brave lion whose life was no more. I caressed you and said goodbye. I didn't want to go. I didn't want to leave you. They wrapped you with the rest of the sheet and a guard stood by the door. I went back to the apt.
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01/03/2008
January 9th
Thursday, January 3, 2008: I can't stop thinking about next Wednesday, January 9th. That is the first anniversary of my dog Rubio's death.I remember sitting up with him most of that night and early morning. I had to have him put down and I didn't want to do it because his situation was getting worse and worse. My German shepherd had stopped walking on December 28th. He didn't want to go yet, but when the vet tried everything and nothing worked, I had to make the awful decision to let him out of his misery.I will never forget the way he looked spread out on the yellow bed sheet as they gave him the needle. A giant struck down by lightning.
This year I will be worrying about something else that day. January 9th is the date of my civil case. I am being sued in Norfolk, VA over a $1,200 old credit card debt. What will I tell the judge except the truth? I can't pay. Not because I don't want to, but because I just can't.
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11/30/2007
Memory Loss
Friday, November 30, 2007: Last night I went to see my former dog Leo. He did not recognize me. The guy looked past me as if he had never seen me before. Leo slept on my bed, was jealous of my little girl cat, but now I was history. And this reminded me of my dog Rubio--the unforgettable erman Shepherd. He missed me very much when I had to leave him in the care of others. The last family he stayed with was different. He fell in love with them and when they dumped him, Rubio would drag me back to their house. He would smell the car, the car tires, the front door, the garage. It was very, very heartbreaking for both of us.
Maybe dogs don´t have the memory that some of us humans do. We have them in our hearts, in our souls and when they have to go and live elsewhere, we suffer.
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11/04/2007
Rubio
Rubio’s constipation problem is on again and it drives me up the wall. He doesn’t want to go out and when he tries to relieve himself, it must hurt him so much. This morning was one of those times. He pulled towards the apt. so hard that I was afraid I’d fall.
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10/14/2007
Homenaje a Rubio
Rolando, Le quiero contar la historia de mi perro Rubio. El era un ovejero aleman, al cual conoci cuando tenia 4 años y medio. Rubio vivia con mi amiga Nadia, una sra. mayor que estaba enferma. Habian dos perros mas viviendo con ella. Al principio, Rubio desconfiaba de mi, ya que casi nadie iba a visitar a Nadia. Despues, cuando a Nadia la tuve que internar en el Hospital Vicente Lopez porque se descompuso, yo iba todos los dias a darles de comer a los perros y sacar a pasear a sus 2 hermanos postizos. Rubio no sabia pasear. Nadia se mejoro y volvio a su casa. Pero 2 meses mas tarde, despues de salir de mi casa, Nadia se quedo dormida con una vela prendida en su habitacion. Se incendio su depto., y Nadia intento desperadamente pedir ayuda. Los 3 perros habran ladrado mucho, pero nadie se acerco hasta el dpto. hasta que empezo a salir humo por debajo de la puerta. Llegaron los bomberos. A Nadia la encontraron con las llaves del depto. en la mano al lado de la puerta. Los 2 perritos, que tenian mas edad que Rubio murieron asfixiados, igual que ella. Rubio se salvo porque pudo acercarse a una ventana que estaba abierta. Yo, en mi tristeza por haber perdido a mi amiga, lo adopte.
Al principio, fue dificil vivir con el. Ademas de nunca haber aprendido a caminar para hacer ejercicio, hacia todo adentro. Alguien me recomendo a una paseadora del barrio, quien le enseño los placeres de las caminatas. Adoraba olerlo todo y conmigo y con la paseadora caminaba mucho. Su cola era larga y muy hermosa y siempre estaba levantada como si estuviera orgulloso de ser Rubio. Comia de todo--comida de gente y comida de perro.
Se enfermo de una hernia en el 2001, casi 2 años despues de que yo lo adopte. Le hicimos una operacion, pero el problema volvio y se lo opero una segunda vez en el 2002. Por razones personales yo tuve que hacer unos viajes al exterior y Rubio se quedo con gente en casas de familia. Yo queria lo mejor para el, queria que se sintiera querido y protegido, pero no siempre pude lograrlo. Me dijeron que algunas de las personas de esas casas le pegaba. Habia que tener mucho coraje (o algo parecido o lo contrario al coraje) para pegarle a Rubio. Era un perro cariñoso y leal, pero sabia que era un perro grande y todo un protector.
Finalmente, Rubio volvio a mi lado. Murio el 9 de enero de este año. Lo tuve que sacrificar en contra de mi voluntad. Sufria de un gran problema de constipacion y de la columna. El 28 de diciembre de 2006, camino por ultima vez. Despues, a pesar de todo lo que hicimos yo y el veterinario, no pudo pararse mas. Lo intento incorporarse varias veces, pero no pudo.
El ha sido mi compañero, mi protector, mi amigo. Me gustaria que se comuniquen conmigo para hablar de Rubio por radio o sino que lean este email al aire. Gracias. Eugenia Renskoff
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10/13/2007
The Last Goodbye
Thursday, October 19, 2006: 16.4 C. at 5 A.M. Another beautiful afternoon later! Rubio and I just came home (if he can call this apt. home) from Arenales 1775—Marta´s house. He dragged me all the way there, smelling his way. When he finally got there, Rubio smelled the garage door, the side door, the front door, their car, the car’s front tires, not once, but at least 3 times. He went to the front door as if expecting to be let in. Then he looked a little disoriented, like he has looked for the past couple of days, when he smelled the air out on Maipu as if wanting it to guide him somewhere. Clearly his problem is not so much physical as it is psychological. He would rather be with them—that’s why he went home to Momma Marta through the dark streets, pulling me so hard.
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