My Life in Argentina and Beyond

A fat man with a well-fed face wearing a three-piece suit walked by our double line at the soup kitchen. He gave us—the women first and then the men—the once over and asked: What are these people waiting for? No one in the line answered. They probably thought ignoring him was the best thing to do. Food, I said. The man walked on with his group of friends. I smiled because I envied his luck. He’s probably never seen a soup kitchen line in real life. The only time he’s come across soup kitchens is in the movies.

Friday, August 14, 2009: Soup Kitchen, 5 P.M. Sharp: The line was already long, mostly men. I asked James, the volunteer supervisor if it was still Ladies First policy. Yes, he said, going inside. I took my place a foot or two from a man wearing brown/white military-type pants, a white T-shirt and black L.A. Gear-like shoes. “Get back to the end of the line,” he told me in a loud voice. “No, I answered.” James just said it is Ladies First.” “Get back to the end of the line, or I’ll kick you in the face,” he told me, his voice becoming louder. “No, I repeated. “Go ask him if you don’t believe me. It is Ladies First.” Again, he told me to get to the end of the line. I looked at the other men and knew I’d get no help from them. I walked up the wooden plank to the cafeteria door and, once inside, asked for James. After I repeated what the man had threatened to do, James said: No, he won’t. He, another volunteer and I walked outside. “The Coalition policy is Ladies first,” he told the guy.” Just so she doesn’t stand next to me”, was the man’s reply. I had not been standing next to him. James went to the cafeteria and brought me his folding chair for me to sit on. I was very grateful and I felt protected, something I have not felt for a long time.

Sex is not love but sex and love (between a man and a woman, for instance) often go together. When you are in love, you want to touch and feel the person you love. You usually do not want to admire one another from afar. Eugenia Renskoff

Saturday, June 20, 2009: Yesterday afternoon I ran around 5th Avenue, looking for a man who wasn't there. I went to his place of business to discover that he had left. Then I emailed him from the NY Public Library. Then, I discovered where he really was supposed to be, and surprise! He wasn't there either. I felt like a fool and like I had been stood up over and over again.Yesterday afternoon was one of the more stressful times of the year and a half that I've spent back here in New York. Don't need that again.